Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Cold hollow remembrences. 2 sum

Sheol hath taken her stand- I never knew what love and hate ended or began- so they say your darkness dims so they cannot see- when you keep eyes opened in a windowless room- it started with a shiver down your spine- and then they with winged afoot- contact thee blessed lights they hold guard ov our soon existence- praying for the dead no need- we are they are we- I sometimes remember who we/I had been- am- perpetually forth seer sight (salah)

Monday, April 12, 2010

Non-isms 1

sold feelings of inadequacy: repeated sum rituals that only those who have tried to define thee godd ov many names (only to find their Sickness is to convince the those who are wrong according to there delusional methodology): writen by mere men who believed that they had been chosen to give their absolute one name in the name ov their absolete obsolute: spreadin the word ov fear hark the earth was Flat and revolves around the son: Submit~Obey

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

:the feeling ov is it mania or a relapse on the horizon:

:hOly shit is this is there an end - my mind racing relentless without mercy - maybe i should buy something a phone something - i'll make promises 4 2maro - i'll have a lump sum and we'll b happy - woa i got2 slow down - almost hit that mail box driving - can't u feel it it's coming - slowly working its way up from my gut - it's almost in me throughout - that's right listen - can't u hear it it's coming closer - out ov alignment i am - sounds crashing - insight blurrred - godd will i remember any ov this - am I bad 4 spelling Godd - talk 2 someone - someone who knows - someone who cares - hang out - camp out - cannot b alone is just where i am - can't pay my bills is just where i am - godds got me cornered is just where i am - accept it chew your cud - sorting the process ov alignment is a painful thing - always grasping 4 a lesser sloth solution in order 2 extinguish my mortal fears of facing the child i've been murdering 4 these last 23 years - it always takes me back - godd in the hands ov men - what good could come ov it - duality and religion in the great war 4 our souls - out ov alignment don't even know where i fit - getting some perspective from the fellowship, my sponsor and the 12 steps - yeah i fit i'm not alone - NA = Never Alone - still dizzy maybe it's time 2 eat - friends clean friends said come over - do it joshua u r welcome - feel better calming - godd is out 4 ur best interest - it's going 2 b ok - higher power is with me - godd says this 2 shall pass - just don't buy anything in the meantime thus sayeth the lord:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Temptd & Turnd

I hear my sponsor - there's nothing he hasn't done - that i can out do - i want 2 impersonate & emulate - what a wealth ov knowledge - where does he come from - does it matter - or just where he go's - i want 2 go 2 - all impressionable - accept it it's true - addict i am like brother 2 the leach - always hungry starving - fill me with u - or a substance masking as a the way 2 feel freedom - it leaves me loneliness unsatisfied black & blue - tempted & turned - yelling laughing not dwelling - i did it yes it was me - not all ov u - my life i cannot manage - without the old wheelers and dealers - who have shot smoked dropped almost every spark ov hope - determined 2 live 4 the first time - all anew